the best often die by their own hand
just to get away,
and those left behind
can never quite understand
why anybody
would ever want to
get away
from
them

We are like roses that have never bothered to 

bloom when we should have bloomed and 

it is as if

the sun has become disgusted with waiting

There is always somebody or something
waiting for you,
something stronger, more intelligent,
more evil, more kind, more durable,
something bigger, something better,
something worse, something with
eyes like the tiger, jaws like the shark,
something crazier than crazy,
saner than sane,
there is always something or somebody
waiting for you
as you put on your shoes
or as you sleep
or as you empty a garbage can
or pet your cat
or brush your teeth
or celebrate a holiday
there is always somebody or something
waiting for you.

keep this fully in mind
so that when it happens
you will be as ready as possible.

meanwhile, a good day to
you
if you are still there.
I think that I am—
I just burnt my fingers on
this
cigarette.

Looking back
down the long path
I don’t believe I would have done
anything different.

Did I love you? I did, who cares!
I held you; I placed you to the deepest inside of me.
I took, caressed your hair, I kissed..
I drank, sip by sip, your beauty.

Did I love you? I did, for sure.
It was with me, the most terrible one of yearnings
I got mad, how far you were…
It wasn’t love, this was something else that never got enough

Did I love you? I did, actually.
While loving, I was completed, I became integrated.
There was someone who had cried for nights;
there was someone who was passionette with you; that was me.

Did I love you? I did, the greatest,
the most unfaded roses opened inside of me
you were something makes my life worth living;
you were… in my blurry youth

Did I love you? I did, just like that.
I arrived to a line with you
and one day I lost you there.
Did I love you? I did, what about you?

You made me wait so long, so long that
You got me used to wait for you.
Even though you came back after a long time
I now love longing for you more than I love you.

My eyes don’t see the love in your eyes.
My heart doesn’t receive the love from them.
I’ve already exhausted my soul, take it, exhaust it a little bit more.
Because I think you’re just like everybody else now.

Though last night I was waiting for you to come,
today I’m running away from you secretly.
See, I’d looked into my heart well enough,
then I understood that you’re just like everybody else.

I completely forgot you, I’m sure of it .
Now my promise belonged to the past.
I don’t even have any grudge against you in my heart.
I think you’re just like everybody else now.

I have never said ‘I love you’ to a person I have never loved;

or I’ve never expected the person I love to love me back.

I’ve never put a price on my friendship, and I’ve never put a limit on my love.

If I loved someone, I went all the way,
If I was done with anyone, even though I would miss them to death, I didn’t look back.

Sometimes I was heartbroken, and maybe sometimes I broke hearts.

But I said ‘mistakes are for people’.

I forgave, I asked for forgiveness.

Some of them broke my heart more than once but I still forgave them.

Maybe they judged me and called me ‘really naive’

Maybe they snickered insidiously.

But the thing they have forgotten was;

I wasn’t the one who was mistaken!

They were the only ones that were mistaken most of the times but they weren’t aware of it.

Since they don’t know what a loss of a person is like,

Since losing people has become normal to them,

but I have never lost a person,

I only knew how to give up when the time came..

I think of each of
them
living somewhere else
sitting somewhere else
standing somewhere else
sleeping somewhere else
or maybe feeding a
child
or
reading a
newspaper or screaming
at their
new man…

but thankfully
my female past
(for me)
has concluded
peacefully.

yet most others seem to
believe that a
new relationship will certainly
work.

that the last one
was simply the
error of
choosing a bad
mate.

just
bad taste
bad luck
bad fate.

and then there are some who
believe that old
relationships can be
revived and made new
again.

but please
if you feel that way
don’t phone
don’t write
don’t arrive

and meanwhile,
don’t feel bruised because this
poem will last much
longer than we
did.

it deserves to:
you see
its strength is
that it seeks
no
mate at
all.

You are a must for me; you never know
that your name is like a nail riveting my brain
I see your eyes as ever-expanding dimensions.
You are a must for me; you never know
that I burn within, at the thought of you?

Trees prepare themselves for autumn;
can this city be that old Istanbul?
Now clouds disintegrate in the darkness
as the street lights flicker
and over pavements, it is the smell of rain
You are a must for me, yet you are absent …

Love sometimes is an outrageous fear.
A man tires suddenly at nightfall,
of living enslaved to the razor at his neck.
Sometimes his passion wrings his hands,
expunging other lives from his existence.
Sometimes whichever door he knocks
behind him, it is the whistle of wicked silence of loneliness.

A screechy phonograph is playing in Fatih …
a song about some Friday long ago.
I would listen it all from a vacant corner,
I would bring you an untouched sky.
Weeks disintegrates in my hands.
Whatever I do, whatever I hold on to, wherever I go,
you are a must for me, yet you are absent …

Perhaps you are the blue dotted child in June
Ah, no one knows you, no one knows!
A freighter leaks from your deserted eyes…
perhaps you are boarding in Yesilkoy?
You are drenched there, shivering with the rain
Perhaps you are blind, beset, ravished,
Wind is disheveling your hair.

Whenever I think of a life,
at this wolves’ table, maybe hard
shameless, yet without soiling our hands …
Whenever I think of a life,
I begin with your name, defying the silence,
and your secret tides surge within me
No, it wouldn’t happen in other ways
You are a must for me; you never know..